The Company We Keep

Jenny McCarthy
Mon, 29 Sep 2014 21:00:00 -0700
Lifestyle

Do you have people in your life who seem to shroud themselves in drama? It's almost as if they need to be in the middle of an unbearable catastrophe in order to function in their day-to-day lives. Take a moment to look at the company you keep and evaluate how many drama lovers you find.

We are a reflection of the people we surround ourselves with. Look within and decide whether you are a part of the crowd that creates and lives among the drama. If we're all being really honest, we would be nodding our heads, knowing we fall victim to this. See whether any of the items below resonate with you.

—Someone is always out to get you — the co-worker who dropped the ball on his portion of the project, the older man who cut you off, the server who forgot to leave the tomatoes off your salad. Is your first reaction to get angry with these people? Many of us feel as if their intent was to offend or upset us. We yell at them, flip them the bird or whisper bad things about them behind their backs. When we really think about it or maybe even ask them, we discover it wasn't about us at all — so why do we take it upon ourselves to be so bothered?
Updated: Tue Sep 30, 2014

Do you have people in your life who seem to shroud themselves in drama? It's almost as if they need to be in the middle of an unbearable catastrophe in order to function in their day-to-day lives. Take a moment to look at the company you keep and evaluate how many drama lovers you find.

We are a reflection of the people we surround ourselves with. Look within and decide whether you are a part of the crowd that creates and lives among the drama. If we're all being really honest, we would be nodding our heads, knowing we fall victim to this. See whether any of the items below resonate with you.

—Someone is always out to get you — the co-worker who dropped the ball on his portion of the project, the older man who cut you off, the server who forgot to leave the tomatoes off your salad. Is your first reaction to get angry with these people? Many of us feel as if their intent was to offend or upset us. We yell at them, flip them the bird or whisper bad things about them behind their backs. When we really think about it or maybe even ask them, we discover it wasn't about us at all — so why do we take it upon ourselves to be so bothered?

—Reading into something that isn't there. Times have changed, and the way we communicate now is very different from the way our grandparents did. Texts and tweets and emails — these allow for a lot of lapses in emotion and judgment. Without eye contact and voice inflection, we are left with a big window to interpret how someone is communicating. If you find yourself upset by the wording of an email, first stop and ask yourself why you're bothered, and then reach out to the person and ask for clarity. There are so many times I find myself in this situation and then come to find out I was manifesting feelings and emotions that were never meant by the sender.

—The conversation inevitably turns to someone who is not present — crazy Aunt Sally and her decision to adopt an 11th cat or the neighbor whose recycling bin is always full of wine bottles. The second you find the conversation turning into a judgment against someone who isn't around to share in the conversation, you're entering a terribly toxic zone. Remember that the person you are speaking negatively about is your mirror. Stop pointing the finger at that person, and look internally to understand why his or her life choices bother you.

Once we can let go of some of the entirely unnecessary dramatic and toxic behavior we hold on to so tightly, our lives will feel a whole lot simpler — resulting in a whole lot of happiness.