Trouble Naming Unborn Child

Martin and Josie Brown
Wed, 02 Apr 2014 21:00:00 -0700
Lifestyle

Dear John: My new husband and I are fighting over naming our unborn child. We can't seem to compromise! These are serious fights in which we hurt each other's feelings, and we end up not talking to each other for hours. We are both very stubborn, and I'm afraid this is really hurting our relationship. Any suggestions? — Mom Should Choose, in Fort Wayne, Ind.

Dear Mom: Naming your first child should be something you both agree on. After all, you were a team in creating this wonderful being, and you both deserve the honor of naming your baby. And remember, there is not a parent in the world that can ever say with certainty that the child you love with all your heart will love the name he or she is given!

Here is my suggestion: Each of you should come up with three names. Rate the ones suggested by the other as a first choice, second and third choice. Then, starting with the two first choices, try them in combination as a first and middle name. If that combination doesn't work, play with the other names until a compromise combination made up of both partners' choices is reached. Remember, this isn't a competition; it is the first of many compromises you will be making for and about your child. The sooner you learn to work as a team, the happier all three of you will be.
Updated: Thu Apr 03, 2014

Dear John: My new husband and I are fighting over naming our unborn child. We can't seem to compromise! These are serious fights in which we hurt each other's feelings, and we end up not talking to each other for hours. We are both very stubborn, and I'm afraid this is really hurting our relationship. Any suggestions? — Mom Should Choose, in Fort Wayne, Ind.

Dear Mom: Naming your first child should be something you both agree on. After all, you were a team in creating this wonderful being, and you both deserve the honor of naming your baby. And remember, there is not a parent in the world that can ever say with certainty that the child you love with all your heart will love the name he or she is given!

Here is my suggestion: Each of you should come up with three names. Rate the ones suggested by the other as a first choice, second and third choice. Then, starting with the two first choices, try them in combination as a first and middle name. If that combination doesn't work, play with the other names until a compromise combination made up of both partners' choices is reached. Remember, this isn't a competition; it is the first of many compromises you will be making for and about your child. The sooner you learn to work as a team, the happier all three of you will be.

Dear John: About a year ago, I finally left an abusive relationship of nine years. I have been seeing "Harry" now for about eight months. We recently moved in together. I know adjusting to each other in our new home is something we have to work on. Still, I find myself feeling jealous of his female friends, and any female relationships he has, even those he has with relatives. I can't stand it when he doesn't spend all his time with me and when he gets on the phone to talk to family and friends! I know he talks about us and our new life together. He has been inviting people to our housewarming party and tells them what they want to know about me, but it drives me crazy. When I have approached him about the past, he just thinks I'm overreacting and calls me nuts. — Insecure for Sure, in Santa Rosa, Calif.

Dear Insecure: He wants everyone in his life to appreciate you as much as he does. That is why he is introducing you to them. Abusers do the opposite: They keep their partners from meeting or spending time with others.

Being jealous of his time and his other relationships — particularly his family — will soon have him running out the door. Don't do that to yourself or to him. Remember, he is not your ex, and you both deserve a shot at a happy, healthy relationship. To have that shot, work hard to rid yourself of your fear that he isn't worthy of your trust, because he is.